


maybe i just miss you

by asdf_writings



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Not Beta Read, in the slightest, ~projecting~ i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:20:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26953525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asdf_writings/pseuds/asdf_writings
Summary: "fuck!"mark pressed his forearm even harder against his eyes, hoping that would do something to stop the tears.~international student!mark working through a time difference and other consequences of a gl*bal p*ndemic
Kudos: 15





	maybe i just miss you

"fuck!"

mark pressed his forearm even harder against his eyes, hoping that would do _something_ to stop the tears.

he wasn't alone in the house, his parents were asleep in their bedroom. they were down the hall, and the walls weren't that thin, but he made himself quiet down anyways, just in case.

he whimpered, using his free hand to grip his pillow even closer to his chest. he knew this was going to be hard, but damn...he thought he'd be stronger than this. facetime still exists, you know, and so does kakaotalk and social media. and all the games he plays with his friends are online anyways. he knew the time zone difference would be a bitch but he thought that would be the hardest part.

but fuck he's so lonely.

mark had returned home to canada for summer recess for an internship. he subleased his apartment in seoul to a friend, agreeing that he would come back a few months later. then a global pandemic hit, his internship got cancelled, his classes for the fall went online, and he was stuck in canada because of a travel ban.

and now he was paying for an apartment that nobody was living in, because he couldn't go back and he couldn't find a subleaser. at least his friends were willing to stop by his apartment every now and then to make sure everything was still in it's place. he had no plants that were real but doyoung-hyung promised he was dusting his shelves every now and then.

and so here he was, crying at midnight in his bedroom, his LED lights poorly stuck onto his wall providing a sad purply glow. he felt so dramatic. so childish. he missed his friends, yes, of course, but he wasn't even crying because of that. this disconnect, this physical and emotional separation from the people he spent so much effort getting close to, was becoming too much to bear.

being an international student at a top korean university didn't end up having that many perks besides a full scholarship. he hard to work to improve his language skills and really put himself out there to make friends and keep them. luckily he found his people quickly. seriously, he's so thankful for that, hearing horror stories of so many students feeling alienated in college. he would always be grateful of the people in his life.

yuta and johnny were the first people to introduce themselves to him, happy to help show him the ropes, both of them also being international students. taeyong and doyoung were like doting parents sometimes, making sure he was always fed and happy. and he looked up to people like kun and ten who were so talented and proud of their work, he wanted to be like them. and that's not even including all the hyungs and dongsaengs he's met and has come to love and treasure.

he misses them all with every part of his heart. he misses his canada friends too, but they're all off on their own college campuses, away from their small suburban hometown. and even if they were here, he wouldn't exactly be able to just see them whenever he wanted. he had to be careful; both of his parents were older and his mom worked closely with the elderly. he really hadn't spoken much with his anyone besides his immediate family since he returned home.

he was lucky, though, that he was at least able to snag an online tutoring job. at least he wasn't _that_ broke, and working with kids gave him something to do in his free time to take his mind off of feeling like shit.

but when there was truly nothing to do, in the loneliness of his childhood bedroom, when he would have to be tear-free and ready for his online class in two hours (seriously, time differences fucking suck), he would just have to feel like shit.

"fuck..." he whispered with a lot less aggression. he wiped his tears again with his sleeves, trying to breathe through his nose to clear the congestion. he forced water down his throat and willed the lump in it to go away.

his hand hovered over his phone, unsure of what to do in that moment. he really should talk to someone about this. someone, anyone. but ugh it felt so stupid. _he_ felt so stupid. childish. crying like a baby, and for what? because he missed his friends? because of an unexpected global shutdown?

maybe it wasn't so stupid. maybe he shouldn't have to be responsible for getting over this shit. maybe he could reach out...

he unlocked his phone and cleared his throat before dialing a number.

_"...hey, hyuckie? are you free to talk?..."_

**Author's Note:**

> this was just me working thru something similar that happened to me last night HAHA
> 
> its okay to feel lonely, idk why i was so mad at myself for that
> 
> hope u r doing well!


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